TOPIC 4

SHOULD PARENTS SPANK THEIR CHIDREN?

“Hitting children teaches them to become hitters themselves”. This declaration was professed by the educator John Holt in the article “Ten reasons not to hit your kids”. Using violence has dramatic import on children, especially, it is able to adverse effect on their mind. Physical pain comes to nothing but moral pain is tenacious spasm and leaves many after-effects.

For the first after-effect, they think that the world have turned back on them so they tend to turn their back on the world. In the other hand, they become taciturn and saturnine. This consequence happens for many reasons. Firstly, they are disappointed to themselves.  Poor kids think that they are bad and waste ones so they gradually become lack of sef-esteem and fall into an abuolia. Secondly, they have to suffer their friends’ teasing. In most cases, young children extremely have an attachment to their classmates that are even more close-knit than to their parents. Once being teased they tend to keep separate from their friends. That is the reason why they run a risk of leading a solitary life. Thirdly, they believe that their parents - the ones they deeply venerate - do not love them any more. Young minds are not old enough to understand what you want to teach them by thrashings. For them, only if adults feel a deep resentment against something is they use violence. This inference has the most evil influence on your kids’ mind. In contrast, traditional views claim that parenting must be strict because of without thrashing, without obeying. However, chastisement is not a good solution for children parenting. Instead of violence, parents should give them dramatic lessons and punishment that help them solve with their fault.  It is the responsibility of parents to set an example of empathy and wisdom. Thus, spank causes kids to obsess but not giving any educational lesson. On the whole, punishing by force brings about deep psychologicial wounds and kids’ taciturnity.

For the second after-effect, bad childhood memories might lead to a bad life-style. When they are kids, chastisement distracts them from learning how to resolve conflict. Unintentionally, they think that conflict has to be resolved by violence. Gradually, it becomes their conception and they treat to everybody by a bad behavior way. Besides, Punishment interferes with the bond between parents and child, as it is not human nature to feel loving toward someone who hurt us. This problem leads to an unhappy family. Instead of a warm place, your house is no longer full of laughter. The children hardly talk with their parents as usual because there is an invisible distance between them. So if the kids will be happy once they feel that their family is no longer a cosy shelter? Some people said that this state will be solved very soon because they are only kids, so they will forget all things quickly. However, the fact is that many studies showed that children’ moral conscience is formed from the earliest stages of infancy. Therefore, all of things, which happen around them, more or less  impact to their mind. That is the reason why this one has a happy life but that one has a miserable one. In brief, Chastisement not only influence badly to their behavior but also change passively to their life.

Many parents never learned in their own childhood that there are positive ways of relating to children. However, it’s time parents should care to good parenting techniques or their kids will be educated mistakenly. All in all, using violence is not a good parenting.

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